New Years Cabin Trip

Working for the government have it's perks and a four day weekend over New Years happened to be one of them this year. So I foolishly mentioned to Charles that it was too bad we couldn't just run up to the cabin like we usually would in the summer time. And he says to me..."well, we can"! What was I thinking even bringing it up!

So we spent a mostly happy weekend at the cabin with no water, (not super surprising, we know that our well lines aren't deep enough to bring water to the house, so we prepared and brought water with us) But something happened with the heat so we also spent the whole weekend without heat in the house. We stayed very close to the fire and all slept in the same bed!!! It was fun though to see Audrey play in the snow and get to have some us time away from everything here. It is nice to get to do that every once in a while. I did opt to come home a night early however and Charles was a champ to put up with my complaining. In my defense.....a "quick trip" out of town is never as much at ease for a mother as it is for a man. There are so many things to do that they just don't understand. Hopefully that never deters us from actually doing them, it would just be nice if men understood!

AT FIRST SHE WASN'T QUITE SURE ABOUT THE SNOW

THIS IS PRETTY OVERWHELMING FOR SUCH A LITTLE PERSON AFTER ALL

BUT ONCE SHE GOT THE HANG OF BEATING UP HER DAD IN THE SNOW. SHE LOVED IT!

ETHAN STAYED PRETTY COZY TOO! ACTUALLY I THINK IT WAS COLDER IN THE HOUSE THAN OUT IN THE NICE SUN!

RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR!

Audrey's birthday

We had to delay Audrey's birthday party with friends for a couple of days but it ended up being a fun little event anyway. Thanks to everyone that came to show your love! We had a blast!

AUDREY'S CUTE BIRTHDAY HAIR!

AVREY AND MADELINE CAME TO CELEBRATE IN THE FUN

MY CHEESE BALL

BALLOONS AND BUBBLES...WHAT MORE COULD A TWO YEAR OLD ASK FOR!

THE DAY OF HER ACTUAL BIRTHDAY WE LET HER OPEN A FEW GIFTS AND HAD A SPECIAL MUFFIN IN THE MORNING AND CAKE AT NIGHT

MY BIG GIRL IS TWO NOW!

GRANDMA ALWAYS GETS THE BEST PRESENTS...THE PERFECT LITTLE PINK SLIPPERS!

Please of please don't take it for granted

I just wanted to write of the trauma of our weekend for those who wanted to know. Frankly I am tired of talking about it so i thought that this might be a better way to let people know.

I was buckling Ethan into the baby Bjorn chest carrier to get ready for a walk. Somehow (I can't quite recall how) Ethan fell out the top of the carrier. Unfortunately we were in the bathroom and he fell head first and hit the floor. Fortunately he was wearing one of those pajama bag things and I was able to catch him before his whole body hit the floor. However, the deafening crack of my three week old baby's head hitting the ground will forever stay in my mind. I lifted him back up and yelled immediately for Charles. His little head swelled immediately and I was scared out of my mind that it was blood and that I had just caused great injury. We got ice on it and rushed him immediately to the peds ER. They did a cat scan and xrays. There is a fracture in the skull but apparently no bleeding in the brain. They observed him overnight but the flood of prayers out way I am certain led to all the doctors giving a positive bill of health for the future. He acted like such a champ and behaved completely normal which is apparently one of the most important things. Everything should be completely fine so other than a headache for a while we just need to watch him. Recovery should be 4-6 weeks to heal completely. But we were extremely blessed to find out that it was not worse. I can't even express in words how grateful I am. There is no worse moment in life than to see your child hurt.

The thoughts I want to express to everyone out there are please oh please don't take anything for granted. In this moment when I was doing something routine and trying to juggle a grumpy two year old and an upset baby, I was frustrated and frazzled at the complexity and oh why me factor. I let my gaurd down. I was focused on something even just a little other than my primal concern. There is nothing i would choose to be doing than be a mother. So even in the moments when that is more overwhelming than i would like to admit, it is my choice and it has to be the most important thing at every moment. There has to be a limit to the multi tasking abilities of women. Please oh please do not forget what is absolutely important and what is the best thing to deserve your attention. It could change in a heartbeat!

Thank you to everyone who pored out their prayers on our behalf. I think it is because of this, that I was able to hold together and be strong and level headed. We love you all.

When does it stop

It is so funny how you think you will remember every little detail of the parenting process. YOU DON'T!!! Keep a journal. I am actually a really good journal keeper (probably the reason I don't update this more, basically it is like me keeping three journals-real journal, blogging for others benefits, and scrapbooking). Anyway, not even I remember to keep track of all the little things. I feel guilty for the times when I get behind.

So my plea today....when is the grunting phase over!!!! I feel so bad for newborns as they try and adjust to all these new sensations. In my opinion, pooping out substance basically like water, shouldn't be that hard, but if it were up to my son, if would be a marathon! I can't wait till he gets in control of that and lets himself sleep peacefully at night!!! Here is a pic of the noble efforts. And a slighlty cuter one of his big sister smothering....I mean LOVING......Ethan!

Official Announcement

Click on it to enlarge.

Ethan Austin Graf

So here he is. The newest miracle to our family. I must say that I am a rush of emotions. With Audrey I had some pretty severe post partum depression. Surprising since I don't really consider myself a real hormonaly emotional person. I don't think it is the same this time. There is a moment every day right about when the sun goes down that a little trickle of fear hits my stomach. It is hard to be so tired and to have the uncertainty of a long night ahead of you. All you want to do is sleep, and newborns don't always go right back to sleep! Fortunately Ethan has pretty much been perfect up till this point. He sleeps A LOT! Something we didn't really get from Audrey. He actually can't even stay awake long enough to drain both sides while feeding! (sorry sure all the men out there want to know these things right!) Found out today he is tongue tied though and that is why I am so sore. With some helpful feeding direction and hopefully a tongue clip in a couple days we will be well on our way to doing MUCH better.

I was scheduled to be induced at 6am Friday morning. FYI, this was a great idea. We were the only people there almost all day and felt very taken care of. It was great. They checked us in right away had us do the paperwork. I was hooked up to an IV by 6:30, broke my water at 6:45 and was on to my first contraction by 6:55. I made it about an hour and a half without an epideral. He came in at 8:15 because I was worried that I would end up going so fast that I wouldn't have time if need be. Audrey's labor was only 4 hours and everyone predicted this would be faster. I was already dilated to a 4 almost a 5 by the time I was induced. The epideral didn't fully reach everything so he came back in and added a little something, which proceeded to render me completely numb from the ribs down for the next 5 hours! I am glad I was able to push and that it was effective, because I sure had no idea that I was actually doing anything. Having to watch people lift your legs for you and move you around, and not even being able to sit up straight is a completely humiliating experience. I felt like one of those 300 pound people that just have skin that wobbles all over the bed and stuff. It was not my favorite feeling. However, I am totally certain I would do it again over the pain of labor!

Ethan was born at 10:17 am totally the entire process from first contraction about 3.5 hours. I am pretty lucky. He was a healthy 7 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long, making him smaller than Audrey but longer. He has very dark hair and darker eyes than I remember seeing on most newborns. It will be interesting to see how he turns out. He looks a lot like Audrey in most of the ways he moves his face but I don't really know who he looks like. I am not that good at telling these things, unless it is an exact likeness.

We are all doing really well and hope that everyone's holiday was amazing. We are so grateful for the best joy that can be imagined! Thanks to all your love.

5:30 AM MORNING OF

AUDREY GAVE A GREAT BIG SMILE WHEN SHE FIRST SAW HIM, GAVE HIM A HUG AND KISS AND THEN MOVED ON TO MORE SERIOUS THINGS

THE BOYS WATCHING FOOTBALL TOGETHER

AUDREY IS ACTUALLY GREAT WITH HIM AND IS EAGER TO BE A GOOD HELPER.

WID AWAKE LOOKING ALL MANLY

Fall Pregnancy pictures

So I am about two weeks from delivering and I wanted to get a few little belly shots of the family. We headed out to Tule Springs last week to try and catch some fall colors. Audrey was pretty much a nightmare. Well, I think it was that she was just overly distracted with all the fun things to look at that it was hard to get her attention. Usually she is little miss model! We will see if she does better with the new baby! I think we still got some super cute pictures though! THANKS JAMIE we really appreciate it!

Here are some of my favorites.

My little Model

Here is my little girl posing oh so perfectly for me to test the light for a photoshoot!

San Clamente

Here is the massive amount of pictures from our trip down to San Clemente at the end of September. I went down without Charles for the week with my parents to stay in our timeshare and enjoy some beach time. Charles was able to join us on the weekend and actually got Audrey to enjoy the beach, whereas she was mostly scared of the sand when she went with me. We had a blast even though i suffered from major soar throat and flu, sleep deprivation, and loads of frustration at driving, heat, pregnancy, and being a single parent for most of the week. Although my parents were wonderful and I would say we survived out one room tiny quarters with positive memories.

Motherhood brag moment

Audrey has been able to identify and say all of the main colors (rainbow and a few others) for a few months now. I was impressed by this. I don't really read a lot of books or anything so I don't know if I should be overly proud at this learning triumph or not. Is 18 months a normal time frame to know this sort of thing?

Well, after she had that down pat I figures we better move on to bigger and better things. So we rehearse the alphabet and numbers on a regular basis. At first she wouldn't even say 3 or "w". Then she had her favorite numbers, 2 and 9 and her favorite letter "o". Then we swiftly in the last couple of days became really good at saying all of them.

Last night Audrey counted from one to ten in a row, very distinctly all by herself!

Is this normal, should I be as amazed as I am? Well, I still am!